Constantine “The Saint of Last Resorts” Review

Constantine’s eighth episode, “The Saint of Last Resorts,” takes us outside of the United States, down to Mexico City. Ann Marie, a nun in a convent in Mexico, finds that a baby has been taken by something, while the mother was slaughtered. Ann Marie ends up in Constantine’s house asking for his help. When he sees her, it is clear that they knew one another a time ago. He tries to explain to Zed that she’s not really here, it’s just a projection of her. John and Chas set off for Mexico, leaving behind the only Spanish speaker, Zed. John thinks that by leaving her behind, he is protecting Zed. We’ll see about that.

When Constantine and Chas end up at the address given to them by Ann Marie, they are facing a convent. After seeing Ann Marie as a nun, Constantine is taken aback and upset that she left out a few details about her current life. We learn, in this episode, that not only was Ann Marie with Constantine and the others in Newcastle, but she was the one who introduced John to this world. Toward the end of the episode, she even says that John is her failure and she should have never introduced him to this world.

After the normal investigations for Constantine, like unburying the baby’s placenta from the father’s backyard, John determines that it is one of Eve’s sisters who took the child. Constantine explains that Eve’s sisters became Goddesses of Hell. Constantine and Ann Marie explain all of this to the father of the stolen baby. All he needed to hear was that his baby was still alive to be onboard with John and Ann Marie. Then they find out that the Goddess has taken another child.

Back at the convent, the father, Hugo, is scolding his son. It turns out that Hugo’s son was the father of the second baby who was taken, making this baby Hugo’s grandchild. Constantine realizes that the Goddess is targeting Hugo’s family and asks him why. Hugo’s mother, who was from Chile, worries that the Brujeria are back. The Brujeria was a coven of warlocks whom Constantine believed were extinct. The only way they could be back is the impending Rising Darkness.

Constantine tries to perform a spell at a fountain outside of the convent but is interrupted by another nun. Finally, John is suspicious of her, and he calls out the names of Eve’s sisters until she responds to one, Lamashtu. After a brief encounter with her, Constantine develops a plan. In order to lure Lamashtu, Constantine uses a dead chicken coated in Hugo’s blood to trick Lamashtu into thinking there is another child in his bloodline. By spelling the chicken, Lamashtu will only see a living baby. Since Constantine has revealed who he is to Lamashtu, he needs Ann Marie to give the fake baby to Lamashtu. Constantine tells her “No price is too high to save an innocent.”

After following Lamashtu into the sewers, John and Ann Marie save the babies. John confronts Lamashtu in order to get information. She tells him that the Brujeria have found a way to break the boundary between Earth and Hell. This would mean that the demons wouldn’t have to hide in the shadows. Naturally, after gaining this information, Constantine defeats Lamashtu. As Constantine and Ann Marie are leaving the sewers, they see a very creepy looking demon following them. This demon, called an Invunche, is one that Constantine doesn’t know how to defeat. He tells Ann Marie that it will keep hunting them. She takes both of the babies and raises her gun toward Constantine. She tells him that the Invunche will only hunt him and reminded him that no price is too high to save an innocent. She shoots Constantine in his gut and leaves him for dead.

Meanwhile, Zed did not have an uneventful time back at the house. I’m not sure that she was supposed to leave the house, but she does. She goes to an art supply store and runs into Eddie. We know that Eddie wants to take Zed to someone, but she still believes that he just wants a date. She goes out for drinks with him, but when she touches his hand, she sees a safe closing behind him. Realizing that his intentions are not to trap Zed, she lures him back to the house to trap him there.

Back at the house, Zed secures Eddie and asks for some answers. He says that her father wants her home. Two other people, a man and a woman, show up at the house to take Zed. She threatens to kill Eddie as leverage against them, but the man just shoots Eddie to take away her leverage. Now it is a race through the maze that is Constantine’s house. Zed takes out the woman by throwing her through a door that leads to nothing. The woman presumably falls to her death, I suppose? Unfortunately, Zed isn’t good enough to best the man who knocks her out with something in a syringe.

Editor's Rating

Overall 95%
Constantine just keeps getting better and better. At first, I was upset to see that once again Zed couldn’t come along on the case with John and Chas. Then, they threw a curve at me and gave Zed a great side storyline. In true form, at this time of year for TV shows, Constantine left us hanging. Zed is being taken, presumably, to her father, while John is dying in a sewer with an undefeatable demon on the prowl. This episode of Constantine got a massive ratings boost and with good reason! So, if you want to keep Constantine on the air, tune in every week for new adventures.
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Jenny Lampe

Jenny Lampe

I'm a TV and movie enthusiast. I enjoy all genres and try to keep up to date on the latest hits. Follow me on Twitter at @JennyLampe.